#158 - should you be pissed or sad?

#158. this one is really odd... there is a husband/wife in the gym and they look pretty close to this:

seen them in gym for years, now all of a sudden the wife is being trained by a 24hour fitness personal trainer..
1. for starters almost to that last man, trainers at 24hour fitness are morons.
2. But why in the blue hell would she pay money to be trained by someone who is in worse shape than she is
3. Why is your husband not training you? hes looking pretty jacked
4. One of you has issues.. either you dont like having him tell you what to do, he is somehow incapable of forming sentences, or you guys really dont like each other. something really weird about it
5. so i cant figure out if the husband should be pissed that wife has a trainer or sad that the trainer is not him

reminds me of an episode of Hogan Knows Best from years ago.. Linda Hogan hired a personal trainer..some steriod boy, had accent.. Im wondering..why would she hire a trainer.. shes married to Hulk Fucken Hogen..like a slap in the face.. guy ended up lipping off to Hulk, almost got his ass beat, and Hulk 86'd him from the house.

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#157 - Another One in the books?

#157 - Discussion in the locker room:

You - You finished your workout?
Me - Yup, leg day. What are you working?
You - Probably do some arms or chest... you ok? youre moving slow
Me - You know its a good leg workout when you have to grip the handrail hard coming down the stairs and you have trouble walking in a straight line. You know what i mean?
You - No
Me - No shit. (me looking at your chicken legs as i say it)

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#156 - You almost had me

#156 - Lets see...going to the gym....

- hat turned backwards....check
- shades either perched on top of the hat or turned backwards around your neck...check
- Tapout / Affliction shirt ...check
- only taking smartphone and keys ...check
- shitty look on your face....check
- oh damn...you almost had me thinking you were a badass but you showed up using a broken knee scooter

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155. Fat Cop

155. Dont police departments have minimum fitness requirements? never fails, every gym has a fat cop that works out while you are there...shows up in their cruiser of course. What an embarrassment to yourself and your community..oh and dont blame the vest. take some pride in yourself

#154 - 50 shades of grey

154. i knew it was only a matter of time before this one got posted.. ladies... Reading 50 Shades of Grey while at the Gym is not appropriate. we all know what its about.. its as appropriate as a guy flipping thru a Penthouse magazine while on the stairmaster.

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Fifty Shades of Grey is a 2011 erotic novel by British author E.L. James. Set largely in Seattle, it is the first instalment in a trilogy that traces the deepening relationship between a college graduate, Anastasia Steele, and a young business magnate, Christian Grey. It is notable for its explicitly erotic scenes featuring elements of sexual practices involving bondage/discipline, dominance/submission, sadism/masochism (BDSM).

#153 - you are not obvious at all

153. lets see.. you are doing the ol suck in the gut technique when walking by the ladies in the gym... heres an idea.. how about actually losing that gut instead.

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#152 - Lord Stark

152. by the way my man, unless you are trying out for a role in Game of Thrones season 3 or a stunt double for Sawyer from Lost, the long hair is really gross.. the ladies just think you look greasy and dirty.

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#151 The Jumbo Ball

151. another newly discovered secret exercise... doing something with the jumbo exercise beachball... you know, i think i saw Arnold and Franco using one of those in those old time videos you see..yeah right... face it.. if you are using one of those beachballs in the gym, you are either gay or on your way to being gay. See you at Chick-Fil-A

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#150 - nice to see you again

150. By the way, when i act like its so good to see you again. what i really mean is that "im glad you are here while i am here because you always bring your busty hot wife with you and i can stare at her tits in between my sets."

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149. Steriod boy

149. you know, i dont really care if you take steriods or not.. but what pisses me off is that those of you that do cant be honest with yourselves about it and keep claiming you are natural. if you are man enough to take that shit, be man enough to be honest.

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148. study up



148. would it kill you to actually do a little reading on how to properly do the exercises in the gym?

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147. why is my music so loud?

147. why do i have my headphones playing so loud? well thats easy, its to drown out your voice while you chat it up with your buddy since discussing every play of the game from yesterday is so much more important than working out.

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#146 slimey workout mat

146. you know that workout mat that you use in the gym for stretching?? have you ever seen anyone actually clean that? theres all kinds of stuff growing on that and your sitting on it and touching it.. just saying

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#145 You Dont want your stuff?

145. you ever heard that saying that "if you dont put your name on something, that means you dont want it"... well, if you put your belongings into a gym locker and dont put a lock on it its the same thing.. dont be mad if your stuff is gone or your wallet is missing.. back in the day i used to mess with peoples stuff ... my buddy would be on lookout near door and i would either put a lock that i found on your locker, sometimes i would move your stuff to another locker, sometimes take the stuff and throw it on top of the lockers, sometimes just leave the door open, sometimes throw the stuff into the showers... dont make me make an example of you...jerkwad.

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#144 - Shopping Cart - Rules and Tips for the Gym

144. Did that shopping cart kick your ass? you spent about an hour doing cardio.. working the stairmaster and the treadmill like a champ.. but when i saw you after the workout across the street at the grocery store you couldnt walk 100 feet to the cart rack?? you just left the cart in the grass next to your Mazada Miata. what a douchebag.

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#143 Livestrong - Rules and Tips for the Gym

143.. ah, Mr. Livestrong wristband wearer... the 90's called, they want their wristband back because they think you are about to hurt your ankle jumping onto the bandwagon.

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#142 The Hoodie - Rules and tips for the gym

142. Yeah i wear a hoodie when i workout. there is no need to keep glancing over at me wondering if im going to shoot up the place. I do it because it screens out 99% of you shitwads from coming over and wanting to have a conversation with me and increases my focus.

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