#113 Black Socks - Rules and Tips for the gym

113  - as a general rule, if you are wearing shorts and black socks in gym, you are a dork.. unless the socks have some type of athletic logo on them... if you took off your powersuit and tie and realized you forgot to put socks in with your gym gear..dont wear your dress black socks...go without socks..no need to embarass yourself further

Rules and tips for the gym - 112 (cheerleaders)

112. closely related to tip #100 and almost as annoying... girls, the gym is not the place for you to practice your cheerleading robot-like moves. save that for when you are walking around the mall...we see you... moving your arms in that weird gyrating motion.....Dork!

Rules and Tips for the Gym - 111 (parking lot)

111. ok now Mr. Billy Bad Ass... i saw you walking around all puffed up in gym with the mean look on your face trying to earn cool points... those cool points you thought you earned...you lost them when you went across the street to the grocery store after your workout and spent 5minutes walking up and down the rows in the parking lot because you couldnt remember where you parked.

Rules and Tips for the Gyms - 110 (twins)

110. every gym seems to have a pair of twins that works out there.. please, you twins, have a mind for yourself.. you guys dont have to dress exactly the same.. the same cloths, same colors..we all can see that you are identical twins... that is creepy enough already

Rules and Tips for the Gym - 109 (man beast)

109 - i feel sorry for you my man.. that you didnt learn anything after all these years in the gym and all those Muscle and Fitness magazines that you read,  that you now have to pay some female man beast to train you..how humiliating.

Rules and tips for the gym - 108 (yawning)

108 - pretty good rule to follow is that if you yawn more than once you are not going to have a good workout, just rack your weights and go home and rest up. you cant hit it hard every time. if you dont leave you will just end up sitting around on the equipment watching others workout, better yet drink an preworkout drink next time before coming.

Rules and tips for the gym - 107 (self esteem)

107 - sorry ladies but when you dress like this in the gym you are probably thinking "damn i look good" but what im thinking is "damn, she sure has self esteem problems because her piece of shit boyfriend would rather hang out with his buddies and talk sports all day instead of spend time with you so now you have to demean yourself and walk around half naked to get any attention from men you dont know"...sorry..just saying

Rules and Tips for the Gym - 106 (skoal brother)

106 - alright you stupid redneck.. the drinking fountain is not where you dispose of your copenhagen, and for that matter neither is the urinal or the sinks in the locker room.

Rules and Tips for the Gym - 105 (flip flops)

105 - unless you happen to be Arnold Schwartzenegger 40years ago, wearing flip flops in the gym is not appropriate footwear....you wear flipflops while working out but then you walk around barefoot in that nasty locker room / urinal area.. well my friend, you are a jackhole.

Rules and Tips for the Gym - 104 (floor press)

104. just because you see someone else do something doesnt mean its worthwhile...what type of benefit you think your chest is getting doing a floor press (bench press laying on floor)? Full range of motion is more important. Just another gimmick exercise.

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Rules and tips for the gym - 103 (whats it going to be ladies)

103 - seems pretty obvious what the problem is ladies..you gotta put in the work..those 2sets of leg curls broken up by texting sessions is not cutting it.

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Rules and tips for the gym - 102 - Youre playing with fire

102. dont do it man...youre playing with fire...each gym seems to have one...that older guy that tries to flirt with the 16year old high school girl that dresses like she is a stripper...that can only get resolved in one of two ways...cops or ass beating in parking lot by her 3 older brothers.

Rules and Tips for the gym - 101 (tandem bike)

101 - sorry dude, if you show up to the gym with your wife riding a tandem bike you are seriously domesticated. remember to ask your wife to take your balls out of her fanny pack and let you borrow them during your workout. oh and by the way, if its 2 guys on the tandem bike...they're gay.

Rules and Tips for the Gym - 100 (golfers)

100. this is one of my most annoying ones:

-wow, you play golf? you are so cool. how did i know? it wouldnt be because you constantly do practice swings with your invisible golf club would it while you are in the gym. knock it off. if you want to practice your golf swing, then SWING A GOLF CLUB at the course. you dont see the bodybuilders coming to the golf course and posing and flexing.

Rules and Tips for the Gym - 99 (you gotta ask me nicely)

99. Standing next to a machine im using doesnt mean anything to me. You have to actually open your fat mouth and ask if you can work in. Grow a pair of balls or ask your wife to take your balls out of her purse and let you borrow them for the duration of you workout. If you just stand there im going to keep on going at my usual pace until im done with all my sets.

What I do want is for you to stand there in that faggoty white uniform and with your Harvard mouth extend me some fucking courtesy. You gotta ask me nicely.

Rules and Tips for the Gym - 98 (perfume)

98. this should be a no brainer but you folks need to lay off of the body spray, perfume, cologne in the gym..save that for after your exit shower..dont know whats worse a stinky person or one wearing too much perfume.

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Rules and Tips for the Gym (ear bud farts) -97

97. hate to break it to you, but when you wear your ear buds while working out, other people can still hear your farts regardless of how high you have the volume turned up.

Rules and Tips for the gym - 96 (coat rack)

96. people... the equipment in the gym is not there for you to hang your extra clothes, towels, hats, coats, cell phones on... put all that crap in a locker or in your gym back or throw it in the corner somewhere. If you hang your crap on a machine or piece of equipment, dont cop an attitude when someone moves it to actually use that machine.

Rules and Tips for the gym - 95 (naked butts)

95. if you shower / change clothes in the locker room. have the decency to not sit your naked ass on the benches, even if you just showered up or got out of the pool. Always put a towel down first. note: the older you are the more likely you will do this

Rules and Tips for the gym 94 - (protein drink)

94. good deal, you drink a protein powder drink after your workout.. but check this out genius, you dont have to stuff that huge 5lb container of protein powder into your gym bag and haul it around with you, scooping out some into shaker bottle in locker room. You know you can just leave it at the house and put some in the shaker bottle while at the house AND JUST BRING THAT SHAKER BOTTLE WITH YOU, right? did you think of that or are you just trying to look cool. and another thing, you dont have to make all that slurpping noise and go "AHHH" afterword. we can all see you. maybe we just saw you and were wondering why you are carrying around a gym bag the size of a suitcase.

Rules and Tips for the gym - 93 (not sexy)

93.. you know lady.. if i look at you at just the right angle, i can almost see your penis... you are not sexy.