Saturday, October 20, 2012

#177 crotch squat

#177. another gimmick exercise.. the ol lay on the floor and put your feet on the smith machine bar to do leg presses.. and how is this different than doing normal squats? remember when you were a kid and your parents took you to the circus and there was a bear that would roll around a ball on his feet? thats what you remind me of doing this silly exercise when you gingerly roll the bar across your feet to unlock the hooks. thanks for showing off your crotch to the whole free weight area too by the way.



Sunday, October 14, 2012

#176 - drinking fountain

176. if you are a germ freak like me.. a helpful tip is to use the drinking fountain as far away as possible from the kids club/nursery .. because you know those little fuckers put their mouth and tongue all over the one that was closest.




Friday, October 12, 2012

#175 - How F'd up are you?

175. damn, you must be seriously fucked up.. lady, if you look like this you need get off the stairmaster,  cancel your gym membership and go to the nearest all you can eat pizza joint and sign up for a one year membership there.



Thursday, October 11, 2012

#174 - there is no stupid question

174. remember how your 3rd grade teacher said there is no such thing as a stupid question? she was wrong, there is and you just asked it. You asked "are you using that?" and pointed to a bench.. you pointed to the bench i am sitting on, with sweat dripping out from under my hoodie, with a pair of dumbbells on either side of the bench, with my gym bag underneath the bench, and my towel and ozarka bottle sitting on one end. I'll give you two guesses but you are only going to need one.. That was a stupid question.



Wednesday, October 10, 2012

#173 - chinese tatoo

173.. wow, that is an awesome tatoo you have all on your arms and triceps...all those chinese characters.. heres the problem jackass...unless you are working out in Gold's Gym Bejing , no one here in the United States CAN READ THOSE.. how do you write "FAIL" in chinese?



#172 barefoot

172. for all you yoga lovers since i can see you love walking around barefoot after your class..these are the things i have seen on the gym floor just this week:

1. the obvious sweat drippings from 100people
2. few drops of blood from where some loser got a bloody nose
3. a used bandaid
4. fingernail clippings..could have been a toenail clipping of course
5. dust bunnies the size of a dime
6. dried mud from guys working out in their work boots

and now bits of these items are stuck to the bottom of your feet....nice




Monday, October 8, 2012

#171 not fitting in

#171 - to the two new guys at the gym today.. there is no way you are going to fit in with this 24hour fitness gym crowd and should consider going to another gym because of the following reasons:

1. you actually appear to want to be here
2. you are doing heavy legs today
3. you are not talking about all the games you watched this weekend
4. you have short hair
5. your girlfriend is working legs as hard has you
6. you didnt check your phone /email once the entire workout
7. you actually walked to the drinking fountain instead of bringing a one gallon jug
8. you racked all of your weights

definitely the exception




Tuesday, October 2, 2012

#170 - another gimmick exercise

170. please, if you are going to do the gimmick exercise called the weighted pullup, make sure you make a big show of adding the weights to the belt. would look even more impressive if you could get a buddy of yours to assist you in loading up the weights.. take your time though, then of course you have to climb onto a bench or step stool. Pause on top to make sure the rest of the people in the immediate area see you. then proceed to knock out those really important three partial reps. attaboy. by the way genius, you can do the same thing doing machine pulldowns.



Monday, October 1, 2012

#169 - lady, you have pooh on your back

169.  so no shit there i am at the urinal and i hear a guy go into a stall and commence to do some heavy grunting. he must have eaten a block of cheese yesterday because from the sound of it , it was not going well. i was about to reach for my phone and ask him if he needed a medic. so im washing my hands and of course this guy just walks right on out of there briskly like hes late without so much as a rinse job..i happen to be right behind him and as soon as he leaves the gym his wife is outside and he gives here a big hug and some slaps on the back.. good job you dirty POS...your wife now has pooh residue all on her back. note: if you see someone across the gym talking to a busty babe and casually pointing at you..dont worry, thats just me telling my wife that you dont wash your hands after you shit.